Tuesday, July 13, 2010

three : if I lost faith, was no choice I made.

song: halloween by meg & dia.

Jade’s POV

Lena was more the happy when she discovered that the GPS was in the glovebox of the car. As she hooked it up and set it for Saskatoon, Jacob and Anton started arguing with each other in that gibberish language of theirs. Lena called us over when it was done, and they raced to the car.

Of course, I got stuck sitting in the backseat next to the giant with the massive morning wood. I guess it wasn’t that bad; he was pretty decent looking. That, and he answered generally any stupid thing I asked him. I liked that.

“So, it’s because it’s keeping you healthy...like your arm or something?”

Jacob sighed, “Ja. Its normal.”

I smirked. He looked so uncomfortable. I liked making people uncomfortable.

Lena’s eyes met mine in the rear view mirror. She gave me a warning glance. I put out my innocent face and she looked away.

“...so the front desk lady said we were pretty loaded when we showed up at 2 am,” Anton was saying slowly, still unable to look at Lena, “I wonder how long we drove to end up this far from Saskatoon.”

“And in the country,” Lena added, “I mean, I found our passports in my purse, but come on- don’t we look suspicious together?”

I noticed Jacob had a small bit of goatee growing on his chin. I reached out to touch and he swatted my hand away. Twice.

“How old are you guys?” I asked.

“I’m 19,” Jacob said, moving closer to the window.

“Same,” Anton replied.

“Well we’re all the same age,” Lena said, “That part isn’t too suspicious.”

“I wonder what we told the border cops,” I snorted, “Oh, just going to have a crack party at some hotel in Nowhereland, California.”

“No crack, Jade,” Lena warned, “I swear to God, if you get baked at the game again-”

“Oh come on, that was one time!” I whined, ignoring the wide stare from Jacob, “And Nazem said he’d kill me if he caught me again. That, and Phil totally went apeshit.”

“As he should. Drugs are illegal.”

Anton looked a little scared by all of this talk.

“Look, I’m not a druggie, or an alcoholic, ok?” I said, leaning forward, “Both of you. I’m just a girl who thinks the whole feminist movement is a big joke.”

“Jade, stop being such a hippie,” Lena said with an eyeroll, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“I’m not a damned hippie,” I protested, looking at Jacob, “Listen, I grew up in a real uppity family, not that they were bad to me, just boring. So it’s natural that I wanna try things, y’know? Like drink straight vodka, smoke weed outside of the school, fuck without a condom-”

“STOP THE CAR.”

Lena slammed on the breaks as Jacob screamed, undid his seatbelt and jumped out. Anton looked extremely dazed. Lena turned around and gave me the nastiest look before pulling into the nearby gas station where Jacob was currently running for shelter. She put the car in park, turned it off and stomped after him.

I grinned at Anton, “I’m gonna go get some water. You want some water?”

Anton visibly swallowed, “No.”

My black studded boots hit the pavement with a satisfying thud and I swaggered my way into the convenience store. Yeah, I was still a little drunk, but who cared? Definitely not me. I was used to this.

The bell made a clang against the door as I wandered over to the freezer section. I could hear Jacob and Lena talking in the next eye. Pretending to look at the Fritos selection, I started to listen in.

“...I mean I don’t feel safe!”

“I’m sorry, but I have to drive. If you get caught driving here with a Swedish license, there may be big problems ahead.”

Jacob groaned, “Please let me sit in the front. I cannot sit with her. She...she scares me.”

Lena sighed, “Look, I know she acts like she’s going to rape you, and she tries to be this big, tough girl, but Jade is harmless.” She paused. “Perfectly harmless.”

I chucked a bag of chips over the isle, “Liar! I fucked up Tavares!”

Lena growled and I knew I was in trouble. I ran around the other isle to avoid her, but to no avail- she always was faster than me. Grabbing me by the earlobe, which I hated, she scolded me.

“You almost faced criminal charges for that, don’t talk about it, ever,” she whispered harshly, “And secondly, you’re scaring Jacob.”

I giggled, “Haha. Jay-cub. Yah-cub.”

He frowned at me from behind Lena, “Don’t make fun of my name.”

Lena tightened the grip on my ear and I whimpered, “Ok! Ok! I’ll shut up!”

“Go get your water,” she told me firmly before turning to Jacob, “And you can sit up front until we stop for gas again.”

Jacob breathed a sigh of relief, “Tak.”

We all gathered into the car again and Lena instructed Jacob to withdraw the USA map from the glove box. Anton sat nervously next to me. I felt kind of bad scaring Jacob, so I decided not to bother this kid. After all, we would be stuck with them for a few hours, and maybe days.

-

april 2008

It was pouring rain in the middle of the night. Jade was fast asleep in her small apartment when she heard a knock on the door. For a moment she ignored it, but when the knocking grew frantic, she knew something wasn’t right. Jade brought herself out of bed and wandered to the door.

Lena walked in, soaking wet and shaking. Her face was flushed, and a fresh bruise was on her cheek- carefully connected to a brand new black eye. Jade swallowed, shaking her head.

“I’ll kill him.”

“No,” Lena said, shivering, “He didn’t mean it. By tomorrow, everything will be back to normal.”

They both knew that wasn’t true.

Sending Lena to the bathroom to have a shower, Jade closed her eyes as she dialed her brother’s cell phone, only to be answered by his roommate, Nazem.

“...hello?”

“Naz,” Jade said, her voice shaking, “He did it to her again.”

She heard a heavy sigh, “No.”

“Yes,” Jade said bitterly, “I don’t know what to do anymore. You know she won’t listen to me, or to any of the guys.”

Naz was quiet for a moment. It felt like years for Jade.

“John’s up,” he told her, “We’ll be there in five minutes.” Before Jade could protest, he added, “We’re off for two days.”

Lena emerged from the bathroom just as Nazem Kadri and Jade’s brother, John Carlson, walked in. Wearing just a towel around herself, Lena felt very naked in front of the sudden visitors, despite the fact that she knew them. Her eyes grew wide, and then, ashamed, she looked down at the floor.

“Jade, you didn’t.”

“I don’t know what else to do, Lee,” Jade said slowly, “I’m scared.”

“How did it happen this time, Lena?” John asked her calmly.

Lena shrugged, “I got in his way.” She glanced at the window. “I guess I deserve it.”

Nazem bit his lip, his gaze meeting Jade’s frustrated one, “No, Lee, you don’t. He has a temper, and he needs to learn to control it. Just because he is angry does not give him permission to hurt you.”

Lena let her eyes fall shut, hiding the tears that tried to escape, “I should never have broke up with him.”

“You were together for just a day before he did this,” John said, “Lena, that’s not right.”

“You don’t understand!” Lena snapped, “I love him!”

John, never taken aback, replied simply, “Love does not harm.”

Lena’s tears started to roll down her cheeks, “You know what? You guys don’t understand. You all come from loving families, and Taylor is the only thing I have right now. He is the only one who loves me.”

“You’re wrong,” Nazem insisted, “WE love you.”

Lena snorted, turning on her heel and going to Jade’s bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Jade turned to her brother, who exchanged glances with Nazem. It was a hopeless case, as it always was. They could’ve pressed charges or tried to get him kicked off the team, but nothing could be done without Lena’s consent. And she clearly wouldn’t give any.





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